On her Eckhart Tolle-inspired song about breaking down the pain-body wall, and why she declined an offer to compete on The Voice.

It's A Beautiful Day And I Love You

The title of the album is also the title of a song that features on the album. I wrote the album before the madness of 2020 and I had no idea how important it was going to be to say to people. The first single we put out was in July called "I Shouldn't Go Anywhere." I wrote that song a while back, but with the pandemic the song now has a new meaning.

Early Career

Born in the New York City area, I played piano and began writing my own music before the age of 10 and had begun to play gigs by the age of 12. In those early days, I learned some very deep-seated, intuitive practices about being with people and music. I had to learn how to open up and still stay grounded and connected to music while being vulnerable to strangers. I also had to learn how to command a room.

When I was 7, my dad helped me learn how to work a room in the kitchen of our home in California. We set up vacuums and all of these other microphone-looking objects and I practiced strutting around the kitchen. When it came to my recital in public, I just stood there still with my hands by my sides. When you're in front of people, something really changes. No matter what you do, you share energy with people in the room. You really have to learn how to ride that energy. There's something very instinctual that helps me keep command on stage. I think that's from playing in some wildly uncomfortable situations.

When my first record came out, I had never toured before. I had spent a decade doing shows in New York and I was signed to a real label and began touring a lot. It was a great experience.

The Voice

I was offered a position to appear on The Voice. There was a carrot being dangled and I definitely thought about it, but every step of the way just felt so terrible. It was the first season so nobody really knew what was going on. I had watched American Idol and I just didn't like it, it wasn't what I thought about when making music. It's so performative and that just really takes away the artistry for me.

I remember having the camera being thrust into my face and being asked, "Isn't this the most important thing in your life?" I said, "Well, actually no, I've been through some shit, I've done some stuff."

I was then offered the worst contract tying me in to giving so much for so long to people I would never meet. I had a family friend who is a lawyer take a look at it who confirmed that it was bad. I felt that my odds of having a real career were higher and that going on The Voice was more of a risk.

Joni Mitchell

Joni Mitchell is one of my favorite artists of all time. I started listening to her when I was 13 and it really challenged me. I started listening to Joni because I knew I was supposed to. For some reason it was an important thing for me to be a fan. I started with Blue and I loved some of the songs that fringe Joni fans like, but there were moments on Blue that I didn't get yet. I kept trying and trying and then all of a sudden I just loved everything that came out of her mouth and I began devouring all of her albums.

She taught me about complexity in songwriting. I think for a great song you need to have the ability to stop someone in their tracks, but there also needs to be an evolution. There needs to be something that's complex enough in the long run that you can still listen to it in 20 years, not just because it ties you into a moment in your life, but because you still enjoy it. That to me is master songwriting and I think that became a subconscious goal of mine after I became a fan of Joni. I want my songs to grow with me and I want to be able to look back 20 years later and think, that's pretty damn good.

"Forgive Her"

Last year I was reading a lot of Eckhart Tolle and he talks a lot about the "pain-body" and how there is this entity within all of us that is connected to our ego, which is an inherited wall that separates you from other people. It can be triggered by all sorts of experiences, both personal and hereditary, and it got me thinking about my relationship with anger and people I love, and why I can sometimes get triggered into this fairly irrational place.

"Forgive Her" is a tutorial for myself to learn how to forgive myself when I'm in my "pain-body." As I've gotten older and learned how to form healthy relationships, I've watched it happen more. The forgiveness we are capable of having for ourselves can translate to other people and can help us reconnect and break down the pain-body wall.

The more time I spend in a place of not trying to control things, but in a place of surrender and trying to connect with other people, the better my songs are. That closed-off angry place doesn't create a song with a spark because there's no sense of hope in it. Songwriting is supposed to give that hope.

"When The Ship Goes Down"

I love this song. It's definitely one of those songs from my first record that still hits me in different ways when I hear it and I still love to play it. I do think I have evolved as a songwriter since I wrote this song.

At the time, I was living in New York City and I was straddling the line of being aware of how small I was and how huge the mountain I'm trying to climb was. I was also aware of how romantic of a city New York is, being a young person living there. I was in my early 20s living my dream. I had a record deal and I was touring, so I was in this constant back and forth of being really humbled and also being in a fantasy world.

"Graveyard Boyfriend"

I had just gotten my Hammond organ in my studio and I needed to justify having it. I had been listening to Diana Ross' Surrender album, which gave me some inspiration. A producer friend of mine was also trying to get me to write a "dumb song" and "Graveyard Boyfriend" is the result of me playing around with all of these factors.

Journey To The New Album

I feel that somehow through these songs I was able to really articulate the journey that I have been on in the last few years. Before we started putting music out from this record, I was listening to it in my kitchen and turned it up really loud. "Many Moons," which is the first song on the new album, was playing and it made me cry. I don't think I knew when I wrote this song and put it on the record how much it represents everything that was happening to me. There was a lot of joy and a lot of undefeated sadness, and I was able to say it. I'm really proud that it came through as clearly as it does.

January 13, 2021

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Check out more of Jillette's music at jillettejohnson.com

photos: Betsy Phillips

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