To the Hilt

Album: The Altar (2016)
Play Video

Songfacts®:

  • Over a doomy riff, Jillian Banks reminisces here about a former lover. She craves his return as without him she feels lost and incomplete.

    Hated you for leavin' me
    You were my muse for so long
    Now I'm drained creatively
    I miss you on my team
  • The song is the closing track on the standard edition of The Altar. Banks explained to Stories Behind The Songs: "It's sacred to me. It just feels… It felt like it needed to be the last thing you heard from me. It's a bit gentle. It also doesn't fit in between songs. It needs space because it's so emotional. It needs time to breathe and to be digested."
  • Banks was ill-prepared emotionally to write the song and as a result she made herself physically sick. She explained to Refinery29:

    "I was telling myself I was really angry to cover up how hurt I was and then this song came out. And it was really sad because my heart was broken but I didn't want to say that because anger is so much easier to feel than sadness and heartbreak and missing the s--t out of someone when you hate them at the same time. So that's how this song was birthed. I still don't like listening to it now.

    I didn't listen to it for months after I wrote it because it just made me nauseous. But I was never tempted to leave it off the album. I was proud of myself after I wrote it."

Comments

Be the first to comment...

Editor's Picks

Robert DeLeo of Stone Temple Pilots

Robert DeLeo of Stone Temple PilotsSongwriter Interviews

Stone Temple Pilots bass player Robert DeLeo names the songs that have most connected with fans and tells the stories behind tracks from their Tiny Music album.

Carl Sturken

Carl SturkenSongwriter Interviews

Hitmaker Carl Sturken on writing and producing for Rihanna, 'N Sync, Christina Aguilera, Kelly Clarkson, Donny Osmond, Shakira and Karyn White.

British Invasion

British InvasionFact or Fiction

Go beyond The Beatles to see what you know about the British Invasion.

Carol Kaye

Carol KayeSongwriter Interviews

A top session musician, Carol played on hundreds of hits by The Beach Boys, The Monkees, Frank Sinatra and many others.

80s Video Director Jay Dubin

80s Video Director Jay DubinSong Writing

Billy Joel and Hall & Oates hated making videos, so they chose a director with similar contempt for the medium. That was Jay Dubin, and he has a lot to say on the subject.

Kiss

KissFact or Fiction

Kiss is the subject of many outlandish rumors - some of which happen to be true. See if you can spot the fakes.