I Don't Know What Christmas Is (But Christmastime Is Here)

Album: The Guardians Of The Galaxy Holiday Special (2022)
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Songfacts®:

  • Led by vocalist Rhett Miller, the Old 97's are a rock band from Dallas, Texas, who first came to prominence in the mid-'90s as part of the alt-country movement. James Gunn, the writer and director of the Guardians Of The Galaxy films, has been a big fan of the group since their early days and cast them as the alien band in the franchise's holiday special in 2022. As Bzermikitokolok and the Knowheremen, they performed their 2018 song "Here It Is Christmastime" (with Kevin Bacon on lead vocals) and the new holiday number "I Don't Know What Christmas Is (But Christmastime Is Here)."

    In the latter tune, the Knowheremen are trying to make sense of the strange yuletide season they've heard about from Earthlings, which involves a master burglar called Santa and the creepy elves that are secretly planning his demise.
  • Gunn started writing this on his own but got stuck and asked Miller to help him finish it. The original version was a lot gorier and had to be toned down for the kid-friendly Disney+ audience. Miller told Songfacts in a 2022 interview:

    "There were earlier versions of that song that were way more shocking than the one that made it on the show. Disney had to put their foot down. It was so fun to write. There were earlier versions that were way more graphic, about Santa being a serial killer and bathing in the blood of the bad kids. Christmas night, everyone on planet Earth goes into a pit and fights to the death. There was all this terrifying stuff. What we wound up with walks the line nicely."
  • Gunn first met Miller back in 2005 after he used the Old 97's song "The New Kid" at the end of his first movie, Slither. By the time he started planning The Guardians Of The Galaxy Holiday Special years later, the band still wasn't a household name but he hoped that would change by including them in the movie.

    "One of his big motivations to put us in the show was to increase our visibility and renown," Miller explained, "and so far, so good."
  • Miller was hesitant to appear in the film because he'd never acted before, but Gunn assuaged his fears by reminding him of the Doobie Brothers' cameo on a '70s sitcom.

    Gunn told The Hollywood Reporter: "He said, 'I'm really nervous about it. I don't know what to do.' So I said, 'This is like when I saw the Doobie Brothers on What's Happening!! when I was a kid. They were terrible actors, but that almost added to the charm. So if you're a terrible actor, it's going to be just fine. I don't care if you're a terrible actor.' And instead, he was great. He's great in the role. So the whole thing was really a joy."
  • Miller has carved out a solo career alongside his longtime gig as the Old 97's frontman. In 2022, he released his ninth solo album, The Misfit.

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