Songfacts®:

• In this song, Olivia Rodrigo depicts a toxic relationship characterized by manipulation and the abrupt conclusion of their romance. Rodrigo is finding it challenging to forgive this ex who has wronged her.
• The song kicks off with Olivia recalling a traumatic Friday in May when her world was shattered by a phone call.
  
  I have nightmares each week 'bout that Friday in May
  One phone call from you and my entire world was changed
  
  In her documentary Driving Home 2 U, Rodrigo tells the story of a boy who broke up with her on Friday, May 8, 2020, when she was on a road trip to Salt Lake City. Could this be the same person?
• Took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers
  And I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did
  
  We don't know who this guy is, but he may be the same ex she penned the Sour track "Traitor" about. That song contains similar lyrics.
  
  You betrayed me
  And I know that you'll never feel sorry
  For the way I hurt, yeah
• Throughout the rest of the song, Rodrigo analyses the difficult journey of trying to forgive someone and the heavy burden of holding a grudge.
  
  But you know I can't let it go, I've tried, I've tried, I've tried for so long
  It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong
  
  Forgiveness isn't easy, and Rodrigo knows it. She's carrying the weight of that grudge, and it's heavy!
  
  And I try to understand why you would do this all to me
  You must be insecure, you must be so unhappy
  
  Rodrigo wonders if insecurities played a role in their relationship's downfall. Was he threatened by her success?
• Some Rodrigo fans have come up with an alternative scenario, speculating the song is aimed at Taylor Swift. Rodrigo was once a Swift superfan, but it's rumored the two stars fell out over a copyright issue with Rodrigo's hit single "Deja Vu." According to Rodrigo, her yelling in the bridge and outro of "Déjà Vu" was inspired by Swift's "Cruel Summer." Because of its resemblance, she retroactively credited Swift as a co-writer.
• Rodrigo wrote "The Grudge" with her producer, Dan Nigro. Nigro also co-produced the piano ballad together with Ryan Linvil, who also co-helmed the Guts track "Logical." Their slow, melancholic piano melodies set a backdrop that complements Rodrigo's emotional lyrics.
• Nigro and Linvill played all the instruments between them. Nigro played acoustic guitar, electric guitar, percussion, piano, bass, synthesizer, and mellotron; Linvill played acoustic guitar, saxophone, bass, and synthesizer.
• The "It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong" lyric was sparked by a Smiths song. Rodrigo and Nigro had a musical tug-of-war over the melody, hunting for that one elusive line before the breakthrough struck Rodrigo while behind the wheel.
  
  The singer reminisced during a concert at LA's Ace Hotel that The Smiths were providing the soundtrack to her studio commute. As Morrissey sang "it takes courage to be kind" from "I Know It's Over," Rodrigo felt a surge of inspiration.
  
  Fueled by her frustrations, she thought, "What if I don't want to have courage and don't want to be kind?" That moment birthed the lyric, which Rodrigo promptly saved in her Notes app while stopped at a traffic light.