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Album: 5th Gear (2007)
Charted: 39
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  • I work down at the Pizza Pit
    And I drive an old Hyundai
    I still live with my mom and dad
    I'm 5'3 and overweight

    I'm a sci-fi fanatic
    Mild asthmatic
    Never been to second base
    But there's a whole 'nother me
    That you need to see
    Go check out Myspace

    'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
    I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
    I drive a Maserati
    I'm a black belt in Karate
    And I love a good glass of wine

    It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
    I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
    'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
    Chat with two women at one time

    I'm so much cooler online
    So much cooler online

    I get home, I kiss my mom
    And she fixes me a snack
    And I head down to my basement bedroom
    And fire up my Mac

    In real life, the only time I've
    Ever even been to L.A.
    Was when I got the chance with the marching band
    To play tuba in the Rose Parade

    Online I live in Malibu
    I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ
    I'm single and I'm rich
    And I got a set of six pack abs that will blow your mind

    It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
    I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
    'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
    Chat with two women at one time

    I'm so much cooler online
    Yeah I'm cooler online

    When you got my kinda stats, it's hard to get a date
    Let alone a real girlfriend
    But I grow another foot
    And I lose a bunch of weight every time I log in

    Online I'm out in Hollywood
    I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
    Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
    Chat with two women at one time

    I'm so much cooler online
    Yeah I'm cooler online

    Hey, I'm so much cooler online
    Yeah I'm cooler online
    (Yeah he's cooler online)

    Hey, I'm cooler online
    (oh, yeah he's cooler online)

    yeah, I'm sitting online

    Hey, I'm cooler online
    (Yeah he's cooler, yeah)

    Oh yeah Writer/s: Brad Paisley, Charles Dubois, Chris Dubois, John Lovelace, Kelley Lovelace
    Publisher: Songtrust Ave, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Spirit Music Group
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 2

  • Dave from Cullman, AlThis song makes me smile. There, but for the grace of God, go I.
  • Mary from Richmond, VaThis song is so funny! I love the video!
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