Darryl:

There's nothing I enjoy so much as somewhere tucked away,
that's the same from day to day: where nothing seems to happen,
but the gums are always flapping. A town that might attract you not
with what so much as who, with nothing to distract you such as things
to...well, to do. City life's impossible, and wholly out of touch:
four star restaurants and such; no the grub at these here parties
beats the pants off lunch at Sardi's.
Sure, some say life is gloomy in a place of no renown;
well, call me hick and sue me but I love a little town!

Darryl and Townspeople:

Yes Ma'am! I love a little town! I love the little streets and
I love those little houses and goddamn!
I love the little life!
Sure the small:town folk are flighty, but holy crap,
Christ almighty, I love a little town!

Brenda:

Mr Van Horne, your language!

Darryl:

Oh come on, this isn't a real church: you guys are Methodists, right?
I'm telling you, a little town's the place you gotta be.
There's always stuff to see; no picture shows a showin',
but by god that grass keeps growing.
No lights that might attract you,
but in fact, where things ain't bright, well:
a man can look and actually see the stars at night....
like bright little pinpricks in the black velvety darkness
and oh my God that's probably the extent of nightlife in this
Godforsaken pit! Christ:all:freaking:mighty,
what have I gotten myself into?!?
Why don't you just take a gun right now and shoot me right between the....
I'm so sorry, you're still here, aren't you?

Darryl and Townspeople:

Yes Ma'am! I love a little town! I love the little streets and
I love those little houses and goddamn!
I love the little life! Sure the small:town folk are flighty,
but holy crap, Christ almighty, I love a little town!

Felicia:

That's all very well Mr Van Horne, but what about the wetlands?
What about the egrets? What about their plight?
You talk about right, Mr Van Horne: but what about the order?
Why upset the natural order? What about the egrets?

Darryl:

Honey, T:U:F:F, tuff.

Felicia:

Tough?

Darryl:

Titty.

Felicia:

Mr Van Horne...

Darryl:

Mrs Gabriel, I happen to be a firm believer in shaking up the
natural order from time to time. Keeps the critters on their toes.

Felicia:

The animals we're talking about don't have toes.
They have talons, Mr Van Horne. They have claws...

Darryl:

Oh and honey, don't I know it!

Felicia:

Mr Van Horne...

Darryl:

And now my friends and neighbours, a toast if you'd allow me:
before we eat our Ho:Ho's and drink our Kool:Aid down;
I love this party like I love you little people, and I love...

All:

He says he loves...

Darryl and all:

A little town!

Darryl:

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