X-M@$

Album: Single Release Only (2010)
Charted: 37
Play Video
  • Ho ho ho ho
    Jesus

    There ain't nothing more depressing than a pine tree
    Gussied up with candy canes and balls
    Those carolers have kept me up for hours
    "It's Merry Christmas," seeping through my walls
    Now, I'm no wiccan commie nut or nothing
    But there's one damn holiday that I can't stand
    It ain't Halloween, or Thanksgiving, or even April Fools
    But it'll surely make a fool out of every man

    If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
    You know where to stick those jingle bells
    If I ain't hammered, it ain't Hanukkah
    And all you motherfuckers go to hell
    If I ain't cock-eyed, it ain't Kwanzaa
    Joy to the world of Jack and Cokes
    If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
    'Cause I ain't ever anything but broke

    Now, every year the malls are just a madhouse
    Full of empty pockets, thoughts and smiles
    Just the smell of eggnog makes me vomit
    And those colored lights are fucking infantile
    I think, we collectively as a people
    Should rise against this corporate jolly noise
    And tell the world, "Let's buy some peace and quiet for a change
    Before we spend it all on fucking toys"

    So, if I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
    You know where to stick those jingle bells
    If I ain't hammered, it ain't Hanukkah
    Fa-la-la-la-la, go fuck yourself
    If I ain't cock-eyed, it ain't Kwanzaa
    Joy to the world of getting stoned
    If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
    So leave this goddamn Scrooge the fuck alone

    Merry Fucking Christmas
    Hi, Simon Writer/s: Corey Taylor
    Publisher: BMG Rights Management
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments

Be the first to comment...

Editor's Picks

Boz Scaggs

Boz ScaggsSongwriter Interviews

The "Lowdown" and "Lido Shuffle" singer makes a habit of playing with the best in the business.

Weird Al Yankovic

Weird Al YankovicFact or Fiction

Did Al play on a Beach Boys record? Did he have beef with George Lucas and Coolio? See if you can spot weird but true stories.

Richie McDonald of Lonestar

Richie McDonald of LonestarSongwriter Interviews

Richie talks about the impact of "Amazed," and how his 4-year-old son inspired another Lonestar hit.

Protest Songs

Protest SongsMusic Quiz

How well do you know your protest songs (including the one that went to #1)?

History Of Rock

History Of RockSong Writing

An interview with Dr. John Covach, music professor at the University of Rochester whose free online courses have become wildly popular.

Top American Idol Moments: Songs And Scandals

Top American Idol Moments: Songs And ScandalsSong Writing

Surprise exits, a catfight and some very memorable performances make our list of the most memorable Idol moments.