Mother I Sober

Album: Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers (2022)
Charted: 59
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  • I'm sensitive, I feel everything, I feel everybody
    One man standin' on two words, heal everybody
    Transformation, then reciprocation, karma must return
    Heal myself, secrets that I hide, buried in these words
    Death threats, ego must die, but I let it purge
    Pacify broken pieces of me, it was all a blur
    Mother cried, put they hands on her, it was family ties
    I heard it all, I should've grabbed a gun, but I was only five
    I still feel it weighin' on my heart, my first tough decision
    In the shadows, clingin' to my soul as my only critic
    Where's my faith? Told you I was Christian, but just not today
    I transformed, prayin' to the trees, God is takin' shape
    My mother's mother followed me for years in her afterlife
    Starin' at me on back of some buses, I wake up at night
    Loved her dearly, traded in my tears for a Range Rover
    Transformation, you ain't felt grief 'til you felt it sober

    I wish I was somebody (ooh-oh, oh, oh)
    Anybody but myself (ooh-oh, oh, oh, ooh-oh, oh, oh)
    Ooh, I wish I was somebody (ooh-oh, oh, oh)
    Anybody but myself (ooh-oh, oh, oh, ooh-oh, oh, oh)

    I remember lookin' in the mirror, knowin' I was gifted
    Only child, me for seven years, everything for Christmas
    Family ties, they accused my cousin, "Did he touch you Kendrick?"
    Never lied, but no one believed me when I said, "He didn't"
    Frozen moments, still holdin' on it, hard to trust myself
    I started rhymin', copin' mechanisms to lift up myself
    Talked to my lawyer, told me not to be so hard on myself
    He has an aura, I hope to achieve, if I find some help
    Congratulations, made it to be famous, still I feel uneasy
    Water watchin', live my life in nature, only thing relieves me
    Spirit guide whisper in my ear, tell me that she sees me
    "Did he touch you?" I said "No" again, still they didn't believe me
    Mother's brother said he got revenge for my mother's face
    Black and blue, the image of my queen that I can't erase
    'Til this day can't look her in the eyes, pain is takin' over
    Blame myself, you never felt guilt 'til you felt it sober

    I wish I was somebody (ooh-oh, oh, oh)
    Anybody but myself (ooh-oh, oh, oh, ooh-oh, oh, oh)
    Ooh, I wish I was somebody (ooh-oh, oh, oh)
    Anybody but myself (ooh-oh, oh, oh, ooh-oh, oh, oh)

    I was never high, I was never drunk, never out my mind
    I need control, they handed me some smoke, but still I declined
    I did it sober, sittin' with myself, I went through all emotions
    No dependents, except for one, let me bring you closer
    Intoxicated, there's a lustful nature that I failed to mention
    Insecurities that I project, sleepin' with other women
    Whitney's hurt, the pure soul I know, I found her in the kitchen
    Askin' God, "Where did I lose myself? And can it be forgiven?"
    Broke me down, she looked me in my eyes, "Is there an addiction?"
    I said "No," but this time I lied, I knew that I can't fix it
    Pure soul, even in her pain, know she cared for me
    Gave me a number, said she recommended some therapy
    I asked my mama why she didn't believe me when I told her "No"
    I never knew she was violated in Chicago
    I'm sympathetic, told me that she feared it happened to me
    For my protection, though it never happened, she wouldn't agree
    Now I'm affected, twenty years later, trauma has resurfaced
    Amplified as I write this song, I shiver 'cause I'm nervous
    I was five, questioning myself, 'lone for many years
    Nothing's wrong, just results on how them questions made me feel
    I made it home, seven years of tour, chasin' manhood
    But Whitney's gone, by time you hear this song, she did all she could
    All those women gave me superpowers, what I thought I lacked
    I pray our children don't inherit me and feelings I attract
    A conversation not bein' addressed in Black families
    The devastation hauntin' generations and humanity
    They raped our mothers, then they raped our sisters
    Then they made us watch, then made us rape each other
    Psychotic torture between our lives, we ain't recovered
    Still livin' as victims in the public eyes who pledge allegiance
    Every other brother has been compromised
    I know the secrets, every other rapper sexually abused
    I see 'em daily, buryin' they pain in chains and tattoos
    So listen close before you start to pass judgement on how we move
    Learn how we cope, whenever his uncle had to walk him from school
    His anger grows deep in misogyny
    This is post-traumatic, Black families and a sodomy, today, is still active
    So I set free myself from all the guilt that I thought I made
    So I set free my mother all the hurt that she titled shame
    So I set free my cousin, chaotic for my mother's pain
    I hope Hykeem made you proud, 'cause you ain't die in vain
    So I set free the power of Whitney, may she heal us all
    So I set free our children, may good karma keep them with God
    So I set free the hearts filled with hatred, keep our bodies sacred
    As I set free all you abusers, this is transformation

    I wish I was somebody
    Anybody but myself
    Ooh, I wish I was somebody
    Anybody but myself

    You did it
    I'm proud of you
    You broke a generational curse
    Say, "Thank you, dad"
    Thank you, daddy, thank you, mommy, thank you, brother
    Mr. Morale

    Before I go in fast asleep
    Love me for me
    I bare my soul and now we're free Writer/s: Beth Gibbons, Daniel Tannenbaum, Jason Pounds, Kendrick Duckworth, Mark Spears, Sam Dew, Stephen Bruner
    Publisher: CONCORD MUSIC PUBLISHING LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

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