Album: This Unruly Mess I've Made (2016)
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  • I woke up, threw some sweat pants on
    Then I fed my cat and I walked to the mini mart
    And I really want a donut, shouldn't get a donut
    Bought a donut, fuck it man it's really hard
    Supposed to be on a diet, I wanna be like Ryan
    He lost thirty pounds on that paleo
    But fuck it man I love fried shit
    I was gonna get skinny for the summer
    I was gonna start doing my crunches
    But looking down at my stomach
    I'mma go to the beach, but I'm not taking my shirt off in public
    My girl shaped like a bottle of Coke
    Me? I'm shaped like a bottle of nope
    I'd like to order a hot dog, some bon bons
    A large soda, and some tacos to go

    I never knew what a carbohydrate was
    Turns out that it's all the snacks I love

    I wanna be like Hugh Jackman, you know jacked man
    With a really huge package
    I wanna be the 2015 Batman
    And send Ben Affleck packing
    If you ain't gonna treat Jennifer Garner right
    You don't deserve to have that
    You better pass that to the homie Matt Damon
    He eat the booty like Pac Man

    You know I feel good about this place
    You know I feel good about this steak
    You know I feel good about this shake
    You know I feel good about these plates
    You know I feel good about this crepes
    You know I feel good about this cake
    You know I just love how it tastes
    I'm not gonna wait, I'm not tripping about my weight, no

    Happy New Years
    Everybody got a resolution
    But the next day, we forget about it never do 'em
    I went to the gym and got a membership
    Five minutes on the treadmill and I never lift
    That was four years ago I should probably cancel this
    But they tell me I gotta do it in person, ain't that a bitch?
    But tomorrow though, I'mma get fit
    Get me a fuel band and a fit-bit
    Get me some workout shoes, and a bench press
    Some lulu lemons and a french press
    I'mma finally focus do some private yoga
    Exercise my shoulders, I'mma hide the donuts
    Realign my posture, no time for sofas
    I'm finally sober no lime Coronas
    But again, that's tomorrow
    And today man I gotta go big cause it's my last day
    Before I lose that weight, I gotta get one last plate and go big
    I ate all night, Kool-Aid on ice
    I woke up and I felt like shit
    And I said, "you know what, man fuck it
    I should probably start on Monday instead"
    Motherfucker let's eat

    You know I feel good about this place
    You know I feel good about this steak
    You know I feel good about this shake
    You know I feel good about these plates
    You know I feel good about this crepes
    You know I feel good about this cake
    You know I just love how it tastes
    I'm not gonna wait, I'm not tripping about my weight, no Writer/s: BEN HAGGERTY, JOSH RAWLINGS, RYAN S LEWIS, TYLER W ANDREWS
    Publisher: Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

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