Who I Was
by NF

Album: Fear (2025)
Charted: 76 62
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  • Ash and dust
    Everything I care about enough
    Burning up (yeah)
    (Alright, turn my, uh, vocals up) Nothing left of who I thought I was
    (And then just let it run) I was

    I'm stuck in traffic, tryna find my way to a home that I've never known
    On a GPS with no address
    So I'll follow my heart, but my heart is scattered
    Like my father's ashes in the back of the rental after I dropped his urn
    Probably a metaphor for everything I've learned
    Like how the only love I'll have is gonna crash and burn
    Or how the poorest I've felt was after the most I've earned
    The biggest lie told is that no one should be concerned
    There's gotta be another highway that don't lead to Hell
    A star to lead me through the darkest night like Christian Bale
    I hid from God for more than two decades of life
    And when I came back to the light, He didn't ask me if I'm Christian still
    Just opened up His arms and embraced me like I'm His Son
    Erasin' all the archetypes of what people like me become
    Since I was young, my personality split like serpent's tongue
    But all the poison in my body still ain't make me numb
    I lost a best friend and felt all that
    Cryin' on his open casket while I knelt on that
    I had a best man picked out for my wedding
    But instead of getting married, I carried guilt and left all that
    A vagabond that broke a bond for Boca Raton
    Who all along regretted he never kept all that
    I left everything behind, but this engagement ring and a frozen heart
    I'm standin' in the fire to melt all that, yeah

    Ash and dust
    Everything I care about enough
    (Burn) Burning up
    Nothing left of who I thought I was
    I was

    I, I, I was
    Yeah (burn)

    Lash out, need to take a breath and calm down
    Try to regulate, don't know how
    Wasn't taught that in my house
    Kids of my own, I step back
    Look at those smiles and feel sad
    Hope they don't wind up like Dad
    Stuck in this loop like I am
    I've called you, never heard back
    After everything we've been through, the good and the bad
    You're 'bout to throw it all away and overreact
    Because I overreacted, karma, I guess
    My temper gets the best of me
    A part of me that I wish I knew how to get rid of
    It's the issue I have, my M.O.
    Say I need you and I love you to death
    Then turn around and go and treat you like you nothin' but trash
    I know-
    I know I messed that part up, but

    I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
    Yeah, I know, sometimes, I
    Lash out, need to take a breath and calm down
    Try to regulate, don't know how
    Wasn't taught that in my house
    Kids of my own, I step back
    Look at those smiles and feel sad
    Hope they don't wind up like Dad
    Stuck in this loop like I am, I- Writer/s: Aaron Chafin, Colson Baker, Jeff Sojka, Nate Feuerstein
    Publisher: Capitol CMG Publishing
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

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