Thank God for Girls

Album: Weezer (The White Album) (2015)
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  • The girl in the pastry shop with the net in her hair
    Is making a cannoli for you to take on your hiking trip
    In the woods with your bros that you've known since second grade
    And you may encounter dragons or ruffians and be called upon
    To employ your testosterone
    In a battle for supremacy and access to females glued to the TV
    And even if you are victorious you may receive many cuts, bruises, and scrapes
    And you will require band aids and antiseptic ointments
    And tender loving kisses on your stab wounds and when you come home
    She will be there waiting for you with a fire in her eyes
    And a big fat cannoli to shove in your mouth
    And that's why you

    Thank God for girls
    Holla Jesu Christe
    From Tennessee to LA
    Thank God for girls
    On your reckoning day
    You better bow down and pray

    She's so big
    She's so strong
    She's so energetic in her sweaty overalls
    Thank God for girls
    Thank God for girls
    Thank God for girls

    I'm so glad I got a girl to think of even though she isn't mine
    I think about her all the day and all the night it's enough to know that she's alive
    She says I give her sweaty palms she almost had a heart attack
    The truth is that I'm just as scared I don't know how to act
    I wish that I could get to know her better
    But meeting up in real life would cause the illusion to shatter
    I carved her name into all the trees
    Sang a song down on one knee
    Looking at the underwear page of the Sears catalog like when I was 14
    I'm levitating like a magnet turned the wrong way around
    I'm like an Indian Fakir tryna' meditate on a bed of nails with my pants pulled down

    Thank God for girls
    Holla Jesu Christe
    From Tennessee to LA
    Thank God for girls
    On your reckoning day
    You better bow down and pray

    She's so big
    She's so strong
    She's so energetic in her sweaty overalls
    Thank God for girls
    Thank God for girls
    Thank God for girls

    God took a rib from Adam, ground it up in a centrifuge machine
    Mixed it with cardamom and cloves, microwaved it on the popcorn setting
    While Adam was like "that really hurts"
    Going off into the tundra, so pissed at God
    And he started lighting minor forest fires, stealing osprey eggs
    Messing with the bees who were trying to pollinate the echinacea
    Until God said, "Ima smite you with loneliness
    And break your heart in two"
    And Adam wept and wailed, tearing out his hair, falling on his knees
    Looked to the sky and said
    "Thank God" Writer/s: Alex Goose, Bill Petti, Bruce Balzer, Craig Michael Balzer, Rivers Cuomo
    Publisher: E O Smith Music, Hipgnosis Songs Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

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