Amish Paradise

Album: Bad Hair Day (1996)
Charted: 53
Play Video
  • As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
    I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
    But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
    You know I shun fancy things like electricity
    At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
    Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows fool
    And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
    Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
    I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
    Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
    But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
    Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
    We been spending most our lives
    Living in an Amish paradise
    I've churned butter once or twice
    Living in an Amish paradise
    It's hard work and sacrifice
    Living in an Amish paradise
    We sell quilts at a discount price
    Living in an Amish paradise

    A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
    I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
    I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
    'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
    But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
    An Amish with a 'tude?
    You know that's unheard of
    I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
    And my homies agree
    I really look good in black fool
    If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
    We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
    But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
    We're just technologically impaired

    There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
    Not a single luxury
    Like Robinson Caruso
    It's as primitive as can be

    We been spending most our lives
    Living in an Amish Paradise
    We're just plain and simple guys
    Living in an Amish Paradise
    There's no time for sin and vice
    Living in an Amish Paradise
    We don't fight, we all play nice
    Living in an Amish Paradise

    Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
    Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anutter
    Think you're really righteous?
    Think you're pure in heart?
    Well, I know I'm a million time as humble as thou art
    I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes want to be like
    On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
    So don't be vain and don't be whiny
    Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie

    We been spending most our lives
    Living in an Amish Paradise
    We're all crazy Mennonites
    Living in an Amish Paradise
    There's no cops or traffic lights
    Living in an Amish Paradise
    But you'd probably think it bites
    Living in an Amish Paradise

    Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
    Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch! Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 29

  • Shadow from Depression, VaI love Weird Al Yankovic. This song and the video are hilarious.
  • Bob from Schenectady, Ny@ ollie, Point Place, WI
    Amish people are allowed time away from their way of life at the age of 18. It is during this time when they are free to explore the world and do whatever they want. Most return to the Amish community but it is not unheard of for one to leave. It's is very possible for someone from the Amish community to use a computer, listen to music, watch a movie...
  • Ollie from Point Place, WiAnd yet, Ezekiel, you are on a computer. :)
    haha.
  • Shawn from Prescott, AzI think some one should make a song A soldiers Paradise.
    without rap
  • Ezekiel from Lancaster, Pawell I happen to think this song is funny and I come from Amish country.
  • Justing from Orlando , FlLol, Apparently, her argument was, "What if an Amish person were to hear this song? They would be quite offended!"

    Amish people don't use technology, so they wouldn't have a radio, CD Player, iPod etc. to listen to it.
  • Steve from Las Vegas, NvThe comment about Robinson Crusoe is a part of the lyrics borrowed from the theme to Gilligan's Island.
  • Lucy from Rhinebeck, NyWeird Al made a reference to Robinson Crusoe in this song. That is just so random.
  • Stafler from Durban, South Africathe music video itself is a joke. is he a real Amish? i mean he's also just a joke
  • Danny from West Chester, PaIm Pretty sure Even Weird AL DIRECTED the VIDEO .. he did a good job :)
  • Miles from Vancouver, CanadaThe story about Coolio being mad...well, Al was positive that Coolio had given the blessing, but Coolio himself denied it. Al even wrote a letter to Coolio apologizing for the misunderstanding. After that experience, Al made sure he spoke to the artist directly for permission to record a parody.
  • Garoud from Aricathis man is an artist and a genius!!
  • Stephen from Kilkenny, IrelandCoolio's Gangsta's Paradise of which this song is a parody is itself based on Stevie Wonder's "Lastime Paradise".
  • Cory from Morden, CanadaVocally, Weird Al can compete with anyone else on the radio these days...
  • Joe from Chicago, Aryeah his new album has a green day parody, but it's probably the least funniy song on the album because that album is f***in halerious!
  • Mike from Petersham, MaIt does have a Green Day parody.
  • Mike from Petersham, Mahe just came out with his new album Staight Out of Lynwood
  • Izzy from Buffalo, Nyi like 'the night santa went crazy' more though
  • Izzy from Buffalo, Nyits sad that not a lot of people know about weird al, cuz he's son freakin amazing
  • Ashley Jade from Cleveland, GaAnother great song by Weird Al
  • Jonathan from Warwick, RiFrankie Yankovic is NOT related to Weird Al Yankovic!!
  • Chow from Saint Louis, MoAl's band does not get enough props in my opinion. They are all very competent musicians. You gotta love the grandson of a polka great. (hey, my auntie used to play polka music).
    Best Regards, CHOW
  • David from Guelph, CanadaYou forgot to mention that Coolio was quite angry at Weird Al for making this. There was some confusion. Weird Al thought he had Coolio's permition for making the song. But Coolio was angry afterward
  • Devon from Westerville, OhI've seen Weird Al a couple of times live and when he does this song they're all dressed as amish people.
  • Allan from Vanderhoof, CanadaNote that it's a take-off of Gangsta's Paradise, with Florence (Brady Bunch) Henderson as the woman sitting opposite Weird Al in a couple of the scenes. In Coolio's original, that was Michelle Pfeiffer.
  • Rebka from Crapville, WyIlove wierd al. He is hilarious. He needs to make a new album with parodies of green day, gwen, fallout boy, and other people like that.
  • Dylan from Perth, AustraliaFunny song by Weird Al
  • Mikey from Galesburg, Ilyeah my favorite song by weird al is Headline News. He has inspiration to what anyone is feelin.
  • Joseph Wright from Baltimore, Mdthis is one of al's best songs besides mabey christmas at ground zero, these are the the most creative lyrics
    werid al rocks
see more comments

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