Album: Alpocalypse (2011)
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  • Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man
    The kind of man you'd never disrespect
    He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses,
    And had a third nipple on the back of his neck

    He ate his own weight in coal
    And excreted diamonds everyday
    He could throw you down a flight of stairs,
    But you still would love him anyway
    Yeah, you know you'd love him anyway, oh

    Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France
    With two flat tires and a missing chain
    He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry
    I'm telling you the man was insane

    He could rip out your beating heart
    And show it to you before you died
    Everyday he'd make the host of Match Game
    Give him a piggyback ride
    Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene

    Ninja warrior, master of disguise
    He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes
    Oh yeah, oh yeah
    He had his very own line at the DMV
    He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee
    Oh yeah, oh yeah, that was something to see, I tell ya

    Charles Nelson Reilly sold his toenail clippings
    As a potent aphrodisiac
    He ran a four minute mile blindfolded
    With an engine block strapped to his back
    He could eat more frozen waffles
    Then any other man I know
    Once he fell off the Chrysler building
    And he barely even stubbed his toe
    Had a tiny little scratch on his toe
    Didn't even hurt

    Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion
    But he never ever told a soul
    I've seen the man unhinge his jaw
    And swallow a Volkswagen whole

    He'd bash your face in with a shovel
    If you didn't treat him like a star
    'Cause you could spit at the wind
    Or tug at Superman's cape
    But Lord knows you don't mess around with CNR

    No, no, no
    Talkin' about CNR
    Oh Publisher: EAR BOOKER MUSIC
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

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