You just know that somewhere in Cuyahoga County, Ohio, there's a jewelry store - or perhaps even a gift shop selling decorative geodes - and its name is "Cleveland Rocks."

Just so you won't be hanging on the edge of your seat, up front let's clearly explain that this song was written to boost Cleveland's image. That's it. Ian Hunter stated in interviews that he was sick and tired of Cleveland, Ohio's, nerd reputation, while cities like LA and NYC were getting tons of songs written about them and basking in all the glory and attention.

Really, it worked. People who've never heard about Cleveland now have just a little bit higher opinion of it based on knowing that this song exists. It couldn't be a dump if it has a song like this written about it, could it? If somebody in Cleveland has this much enthusiasm about the place, it must be pretty cool. Okay, so what if he's not technically a Buckeye; he's from Oswestry, Shropshire, England. Are we going to split hairs here? Are we wrong? And shut up, Donny!

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on Cleveland's North Coast Harbor
Photo: Aevang, Dreamstime

Cleveland Rocks is from the 1979 album You're Never Alone with a Schizophrenic. It technically counts as Ian Hunter's biggest hit and, in fact, he'd almost classify as a "one-hit wonder" of sorts. Actually, he's one of those artists who's known mainly by other artists and has some moderate success, and he's happy with it.

Cleveland, Ohio: Population of almost half a million, Lake Erie port town, one of the capitols of the Rustbelt. In 2005 Cleveland tied with Pittsburgh for "Most Livable City" according to the magazine The Economist. How about the arts? Cleveland is the home of Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel, who created... wait for it... Superman! Can you say that about your home town? Probably not. And does your city host the official Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Well, Cleveland does, so there! Clearly, if it weren't for the average of 55 inches of snow they get per year (what do you expect? Lake Erie's right there!), we'd all live there.

As for this song, it garnered Hunter the key to the city award, presented by none other than the Internet's favorite presidential candidate with the hottest wife, Cleveland mayor Dennis Kucinich. Did we mention that Cleveland rocks? Cleveland radio station WMMS plays it every Friday at 6:00 p.m. Sometimes a sports arena will play it as a victory song. And it got covered by some obscure band whose name is too long to print, whose initials are TPOTUSOA, which subsequently caused it to become the theme song for The Drew Carey Show, a show starring Drew Carey waiting for Bob Barker to hurry up and retire so he can take over The Price Is Right.

It would have been Ian's version if only he'd had the sense to not be born British.

Pete Trbovich
December 4, 2010 Cleveland Rocks Songfacts
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