Tom Waits belies description. The man is one big mashup of comedian, poet, performance artist, front porch philosopher, and, of course, musician. Fans love him for his humor, his experimentalism, and his originality. After more than 40 years of making music, he still keeps us guessing at every turn. Every album explores new territory. Yet, if one looks very closely at Waits' career, novelty is not the thing that most ties his work together. Instead, it's a deep and abiding sense of humanity and compassion that binds his musical catalog and it's the work's humanity and compassion that most definitely elevate it above mere entertainment and into art.

Waits' world is one of blasted cityscapes and battered souls, each with their own snaggletoothed hang-nailed beauty. His artistic direction mirrors, in many ways, that of Jack Kerouac, showing beauty in the most crooked smile and infinity in the most wasted life. "Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis" personifies that humanistic, beatific quality as well as any of his songs.

Downtown Minneapolis
Photo: Bobak Ha'Eri, CC BY 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

The lyrics tell a simple tale, composed as if written by a hooker in prison. She starts the song out talking about how she is now living a stable, married life and doing well, though she does miss Charlie quite often. By the end, it's revealed that she's been lying and that she needs money for a lawyer. Through the words and the music, we see this woman from a completely nonjudgmental light that allows us to feel empathy and compassion for her. The fact that she's a hooker is really, in the end, irrelevant. All that matters is that she's a human being.

In discussing "Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis," Waits has related this story:

I was in Minneapolis. It was 200 degrees below zero. I know, you think I'm bullshitting. No, I swear to God, I was wearing just a bra and a slip and a kind of dead squirrel around my neck - he was colder than I was. The police cars would go by and they'd wave, Merry X-mas, Merry X-mas, Merry X-mas. Anyway, I got caught in the middle of a pimp war between 2 kids in Chinchilla coats, they couldn't have been more than 13 years old, they're throwing knives and forks and spoons out into the street. It was deep, so I grabbed a ladle. And Dinah Washington was singing 'Our Day Will Come' and I knew that was it.

With Waits, the story might be an exaggeration of something that actually happened. Or it might be complete and total fiction. One can never tell with Waits, and who would want to? The mystery of it all is part of his persona and one of the things we love about him.

The song mentions 9th Street and Euclid Avenue. 9th actually exists in Minneapolis (and probably every other city in America), but Euclid Avenue does not. There is a Euclid Place, but it's so far from 9th that it's safe to say the Euclid Avenue is a pure invention.

Minneapolis is the largest city in the state of Minnesota and the 46th largest in the country. It was named by Charles Hoag, the city's first schoolmaster, who mistakenly interpreted the Dakota Sioux word Minnehaha to mean "laughing water." The word actually means something more like "curling water" or "waterfall," but he didn't know that then, so he combined the word with polis (Greek for "city"), and Minneapolis became the official name.

French explorers discovered the area in 1680, but it had been populated by Dakota Sioux a long time before that. The city's early economy was driven by lumber and frequent accidents at the lumber mills led to a booming local prosthetic business by the 1880s. The city lies near the confluence of the Minnesota and Mississippi Rivers, and adjoins St. Paul. The two cities are commonly collectively referred to as the Twin Cities.

"Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis" was never released on radio and didn't receive a ton of attention during the time of its release. However, it's grown in stature as Waits' fan base has grown, and is frequently cited as a favorite by the diehards. As Denis Sullivan said, "The song showcases Waits playing a barroom piano melody, weaving words together; in essence, doing what he does best in one long, bittersweet song."

Jeff Suwak
November 29, 2017 Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis Songfacts
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Comments: 1

• The Mighty Pen from MuWonderful. When I think Minneapolis, I think "disappointing," and what word could better describe the vibe of this tune better? Great article.

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