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• Bilge Rat from The BilgesI was 12 when TWTWTW (TW3) was first broadcast, late on Saturday nights. In the stuffy Britain of the early 1960's, it was regarded as scurrilous and scandalous in the extreme! I was never allowed to watch it, but one evening, my parents had been invited to the neighbours for dinner, and I was left alone!
  I put on my pyjamas, turned the lights off, and left the window open so that I would be able to hear my parents returning!
  
  I remember David Frost saying "The proportion of illegitimate children in Britain is no longer 'one in eight' it is 'one in three'!" He then handed over to the magnificent Millicent Martin, who sang a song which listed all the great men and women in history who had been "bastards". I wish that I could remember all the lyrics, but across the gap of 60 years all that I can remember is "and Hitler's father was a bastard through and through", and then in a "throw-away" line emphasized by an insouciant wave of her cigarette-holder, "And that reminds me, Leonardo was another!"
  
  It is unlikely that any of the "scripts" (if they ever existed, in this highly "improv" show) remain extant. Remember that TW3 was "live" TV, and much of it was improvised "on the run" by a brilliant cast. Had the magnificent Millicent Martin been offered the title of "Dame Millicent Martin" she would have told Garter King of Arms to "Piss off", but her smoke-darkened voice (not to forget her other notable "assets") deserves to be remembered. But no politically-correct modern TV station would dare to touch her material.

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