We Never Dated

Album: I Barely Know Her (2025)
Charted: 37 104
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Songfacts®:

  • Some relationships leave you breathless. Others leave you broken. And then there are the ones that never really happened at all but still manage to take up permanent residence in your brain. That's the space Sombr wanders into on "We Never Dated," a slow-burning lament for a romance that never quite made it to the starting line.
  • Musically, a snarling, blues-drenched guitar riff does most of the heavy lifting. The production is raw - no grand choruses or overcooked arrangements here. This minimalism allows Sombr's lyrics and emotions to take center stage.
  • Like his earlier singles "Back To Friends" and "Undressed," Sombr wrote "We Never Dated" himself, continuing his unofficial thesis on modern romance: namely, that it's complicated and often one-sided.
  • Sombr produced most of the track with additional touches from his regular collaborator, veteran producer Tony Berg (Phoebe Bridgers, Andrew Bird). They first started working together after Sombr's breakout 2022 single "Caroline" began making waves. Realizing he needed someone to help shape his growing sound, Sombr found a sonic match in Berg's experienced touch.
  • Sombr plays bass, drums, guitar and piano on the track. The other musicians are:

    Benny Bock: piano, synthesizer
    Kane Ritchotte: drums, percussion
    Mason Stoops: autoharp, guitar

    Schooled at Berkeley High and Oberlin Conservatory, mentored by synth legend Tom Oberheim, Benny Bock has worked with the likes of Rick Rubin, Feist, and Bruce Hornsby.

    Kane Ritchotte started drumming at the age of 2, influenced by his father, Rocket Ritchotte, a professional guitarist. He has played drums for several notable acts, including Portugal. The Man (2012–2016) and Haim. Ritchotte has worked extensively in Los Angeles' studio scene, collaborating with producers like Tony Berg and artists such as Ethan Gruska.

    Originally from Orange, California, Mason Stoops has built a reputation with his gear demo videos and his TV and film scores. Stoops has worked as a guitarist for the likes of Katy Perry, Jackson Browne and Brynn Elliott.
  • "We Never Dated" started the same way all of Sombr's songs do: alone at home, where he writes every lyric, plays every instrument, records every vocal, and produces the full demo before anyone else ever hears it. Only after a song feels emotionally "safe" does he take it to producer Tony Berg at Sound City in Los Angeles.

    But Berg didn't let him coast. Sombr admits when he first walked into the legendary studio, he thought he "was the s--t," until Berg began giving brutally honest notes like, "This is bad" or "This needs a bridge." The tough love worked.

    "Now, every time I write a song at home, I want to impress Tony," Sombr told American Songwriter. "I don't want him to have notes. I don't want to bring anything other than a song better than the song I brought the last time. He really pushed me in that way."

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