Now, I was just an ordinary English man
Till I got me uniform and hat
And ever since that hour
I exercise me power
Preventing you from doing this and that

You'll find me on the turnstiles at the zoo
Or outside the Roxy Marshall in the queue
And if you turn up late when I'm on the gate
It's no good asking me to let you through

'Cause I'll just say
Jobsworth
Jobsworth
It's more than my job's worth
I don't care, rain or snow
Whatever you want, the answer's no
I can keep you standing
For hours in the queue
And if you don't like it
You know what you can do

When you're trying to see what the butler saw
I'm the one who says, come on, move on
And if you want to stay
You'll have to bleeding pay
And even then you can't stay long

You may be almost dropping dead from thirst
Or waiting for the toilet fit to burst
But I've got the key
And you won't get that from me
Until I've had me little grumble first

Yes
Jobsworth
Jobsworth
It's more than my job's worth
I don't care, rain or snow
Whatever you want, the answer's no
(Whatever you want, the answer's no)
I can keep you standing
For hours in the queue
And if you don't like it
You know what you can do

Fishing in the river
On a summers day
I suppose you think that water's all for free
I've got news for you
Everybody pays his due
And right now it will cost you 50p, plus VAT
And don't think you can picnic on the grass
Public amenity, my arse
And if you want fresh air
You'll find some over there
But I don't feel inclined to let you pass (Without a backhander)

Jobsworth
Jobsworth
It's more than me jobs worth
I don't care rain or snow
Whatever you want, the answer's no
I can keep you standing
For hours in the queue
And if you don't like it
You know what you can do

(Yes, yes, well I died in the last war for people like you)
(Bleeding long-haired lot)
(Good spell in the army do you good)

Morning skipper, what can we do for you?
Don't call me skipper
Alright chief, don't shout
Whatever you require
We're very sorry, squire
But it's ten to one we've just sold out

'Course you could try that shop around the block
But I doubt if he's got any left in stock
And if you think we'll get them through
Inside a month or two
I'm afraid you're in for a nasty shock
(Cock)

Jobsworth
Jobsworth
It's more than me job's worth
I don't care rain or snow
Whatever you want, the answer's no
I can keep you standing
For hours in the queue
And if you don't like it
You know what you can do

When you get back home you will heave a sigh
And thank the Lord that you got rid of me
But it won't be very long till your telephone goes wrong
And you need someone to fix your tv

And add to that your lights have all gone out
And your central heating boiler's up the spout
And when you're tearing your hair
And the wife's going spare
You'll hear us on the distance calling out

(Two, three, four)

Jobsworth
Jobsworth
It's more than me job's worth
I don't care rain or snow
Whatever you want, the answer's no
I can keep you standing
For years in the queue
And if you don't like it
You know what you can do
(You can lump it)
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