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Album: Permanent Record: Al In The Box (1994)
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  • Once, there was this kid who
    Took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint
    And when he finally came back
    He had cane marks all over his bottom
    He said that it was from when
    The warden whacked it so hard

    Mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm, ah

    Once there was this girl who
    Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion
    And when she finally made it
    She saw some other girl who was better
    And so she hired some guy to
    Club her in the kneecap

    Mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm
    Ah, mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm

    They got paid for their sound bites
    And sold their TV movie rights

    And then, there was this guy who
    Made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his wiener
    And when he finally came to
    He found that Mr. Happy was missing
    He couldn't quite explain it
    It'd always just been there

    Mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm
    Mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm

    Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
    Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)
    Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
    Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)

    Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
    Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)
    Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
    Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)

    (There were, there is)
    (There were, there is) Writer/s: BRAD ROBERTS, WEIRD AL YANKOVIC
    Publisher: Third Side Music Inc., Universal Music Publishing Group
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 7

  • Crazyc63312 from Pittsburgh, PaI got Al to autograph my copy of the CD SINGLE from 1994 at his 7-7-10 concert. He was happy and excited until I told him it cost $2!! :)
  • Trey from Kalamazoo, MtThis song rocks.
  • Matthew from Childress, Txhow could he have sang about her shaving her head miles when it was released in 1994
  • Miles from Vancouver, CanadaHe also sang a verse about Britney Spears shaving her head.
  • Ace from Dowagiac, MiI just saw Al in concert two days ago, and he did this song, but only one verse and it was a new one about Paris Hilton. I don't remember the exact wording but it was something like "Once there was this girl who... Got a DUI and the judge sent her to prison... and when she finally got out, she did, an interview with Larry King. Someone please tell me why we should give a crap." Awesome concert.
  • Luke from Manchester, EnglandYankovic has performed this song in concert with backing from the Crash Test Dummies. As Yankovic's version uses Kazoos, the Crash Test Dummies went out and got Kazoos, much to the surprise of Yankovic. He later said that the group were particularly good sports.
  • Brandon from Peoria, IlOne of my favorite Weird Al songs BAR NONE. An updated version would be awesome.
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